6:55AM - My stomach is growling and despite sleeping 8 hours I feel exhausted. I am not a happy camper.
7:49AM - Walking up stairs required a lot more effort then they should. My body is pissed at me.
10:34AM - There are bagels on the other side of the floor and I wondering how bad it would be to eat a piece. A small piece. A single bite? I for once exhibit restraint. Who am I?
12:06PM - I am counting down the minutes until this torture is over.
1:47PM - Feeling a lot better after the last drink and my handful of almonds. I still miss food. A lot.
4:31PM - I've been told by multiple people that I look skinny (people that don't know I am doing a cleanse), while this was not the point of doing one (actually I still don't see the point in doing one), I am at least happy that something positive came out of this. That statement sounds vain but I think I am allowed to be vain if I am hungry.
4:56PM - I am salivating at the thought of tomorrow's breakfast. Eggs and avocado. Oh my.
5:38PM - I almost give the middle finger to the wall of juices at Whole Foods.
6:30PM - Despite being exhausted, my body is craving exercise and movement. I am taking myself for a walk on the treadmill. I feel like some weird new version of myself.
7:52PM - Juice cleanse. We are done.
So now that I've completed something I never thought I could or would complete the big question is how do I feel? I feel at this moment better then I ever thought I would. I'm also surprised that the foods my body is craving is not cookies or cake or even cheese (I'm as shocked as you are) but rather salmon, avocado, and beans. It feels as if I've been reset and I like the fact that I am looking forward to wholesome, healthy foods. I also think I may be so hungry that I am having delusional thoughts. 10 bucks says I cave in to my weekly chocolate almond croissant because who doesn't deserve a reward for cleansing?
But the thing that bothered me during this whole process is the fact that you really can't exercise or move or do anything beyond sitting in a chair thinking about food (which I did a lot of) and because of that, I really can't see this as being all too healthy. Being on a juice cleanse is similar to having the flu when the only things you can consume is liquids. Who wants to feel as if they have the flu?! I don't. Would I do this again? Maybe? Right now the answer is hell's no but in 6 months I could feel differently (but let's be honest I doubt it).
So that's it. Tomorrow I return to cooking (black bean burgers and salmon tacos!) and I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am. I also kind of feel a little accomplished.
Also! This article from the NYTimes basically summarizes how I felt during the whole process.
Day 1 - I need food. Day 2 - Hey, this isn't bad! Day 3 - Kill me now.
Image via the NYTimes.
6:53AM - I actually woke up this morning feeling great which is the opposite of what I expected. I am rather happy that was the case. Maybe there is a reason people who juice claim to be peppy and happy. Here I was thinking it was all lies.
12:13PM - I was doing great until I had the latest drink which is probably the worst thing I've ever had. It tastes like sour feet. I am trying to chug it just to get it over with. Who drinks this willingly?
12:30PM - I had 4 almonds to wash out the taste of that terrible juice. It was worth it.
4:23PM - I kind of can't believe this is so easy today. Besides the one bad juice I feel great.
7:11PM - All those positive feelings I had earlier? They have gone out the window. I am currently silently cursing Tyler and wondering who enjoys such torture. I miss forks, knives, and plates.
7:34PM - Called Tyler to tell him I not drinking anymore juice. I can't even finish the last one of the day. I will finish day three since I'm not a quitter but I'm done after that.
8:11PM - Regretting the fact that I follow so many people who cook on Instagram. These pictures are killing me.
Day 2 is done. I am cranky.
Tyler during a moment I can only explain by saying I think he was abducted by aliens, decided it was a good idea for us to do a juice cleanse since it would be a good bonding activity. He also decided it was a good idea to give this couples cleanse as a Valentine's Day gift but we wont touch at that point right now. I wont discuss the ungodly amount he spent on said juice because it will just remind me that he could have spent close to that same amount on a Vitamix which I have been dreaming about for close to year now and if he did that I could have made him juice and smoothies and all sorts of fun things everyday. Instead I am stuck with a refrigerator full of rainbow colored juices.
Tyler is off his rocker.
So here I am on day one of a supposedly multi-day juice cleanse contemplating whether or not consuming 5 gallons of water today will help me feel full. I'm going to go with no, it's just going to make me pee a lot.
I figured documenting this would make for an interesting read so throughout the day I'm going to jot down my thoughts. I hope you find this whole process more amusing then I do.
8:47AM - Reading the NYTimes dinning section on a day you are juice cleaning is an ill-advised idea. Meeting your friends for dinner at Shake Shack (where they will be eating burgers and you will be drinking cashew milk) is also a bad decision.
11:44AM - I am hungry and dreaming of bread. This isn't good.
12:18PM - Dinner with friends cancelled which means I can avoid having dreams about burgers, shakes, and french fries tonight. I think that's a good thing.
1:49PM - I'm not as hungry as I imagined I would be. Probably because I've consumed more water and liquid then I ever do on a regular basis. I've peed what feels like 20 times thus far today.
1:57PM - I am having my third drink which is actually rather tasty. Kind of like a weird coconut/chocolate shake and reading Serious Eats. I think looking at pictures of food while juicing makes me a masochist.
2:56PM - Dreaming of something, anything salty. Salted almonds sound divine right now.
4:18PM - Discussing your wedding is a superbly awesome distraction from hunger.
8:38PM - Tyler thinks he can juice for the next 4 days. I think he's delusional. He will regret this statement tomorrow when he's crying and begging for food. I have no shame in admitting I can't go more then 3 days and I think even that is pushing it.
8:49PM - I am not in the slightest bit hungry, I just find myself unsatisfied. Food is satisfying.
I survived day one. I kind of feel like a champion.
