This morning I woke up in bed next to Tyler with Jackson nestled in between us and I thought that with these two, a cooking imagination that has no barriers, and more then enough food and books and puzzles (+ The Office) it will be possible to survive. That maybe at the end of all of this I'll realize i don't need much.
But I don't think that's the case (though the above things will get me very far in this and in life!).
As humans, we are who we are because of the things around us. They tell a story; they make us feel complete. I'm not dressing how I would for work but I'm still trying to be me. Wearing earrings. Nice sweaters. But with leggings and sparkly socks. I'm trying to still feel like myself every day. I still need things to make me feel like myself.
The thing I really long for is the rituals and collective energy of the people I would encounter and speak with each and every day. My favorite barista at Cafe Grumpy. The kind people at Leo Sourdough that always set aside for me one of there pepita loaves so I can pick them up later in the day. The farmers at Lani's farm who always point me in the direction of what greens are the best that week. In preparation (though if we are being honest I do this even when we aren't in the midst of a pandemic) I stocked up on the things I love. Right now, a room over from where I am sitting, I have a freezer full of pastries and bread and produce that make me me. They are the memories and moments and adventures I've had over the past weeks and months locked away in an ice chest until i need to break out a reminder of what the world is like outside of this new normal. I'm worried about all the people and places I hold a connection with. Where will they be on the other side of this? How can I help them survive? Because without those things, who wants to live here?
As a glass half full kind of person, I'm done my best to seek out the positives that come from this experience. I now get to take multiple walks with Tyler and Jackson each day. I can cook myself lunch! I can read books and do puzzles instead of scrolling through websites when I need a break. I can run! I can labor over cooking projects since I'm here all day (will I finally make croissants??).
At some point it will be summer and I keep telling myself that it will be the sweetest summer ever. But until then, hunker down, cook, draw, move, and dream about life on the other side. Do what you can to help the things and people you love.
Caramelized Shallot Pasta
Recipe via the NYTimes
This sauce is BANANAS good. It keeps in the fridge for over a week. You can make it with pantry staples! I like it on pasta but i really love it tossed with beans on a piece of garlic rubbed bread.
¼ cup olive oil
6 large shallots, very thinly sliced
5 garlic cloves, 4 thinly sliced, 1 finely chopped
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon red-pepper flakes, plus more to taste
1 (2-ounce) can anchovy fillets (about 12), drained
1 (4.5-ounce) tube or (6-ounce) can of tomato paste (about 1/2 to 3/4 cup)
10 ounces pasta
1 cup parsley, leaves and tender stems, finely chopped
Flaky sea salt
Heat olive oil in a large heavy-bottomed Dutch oven over medium high. Add shallots and thinly sliced garlic, and season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the shallots have become totally softened and caramelized with golden-brown fried edges, 15 to 20 minutes.
Add red-pepper flakes and anchovies. (No need to chop the anchovies; they will dissolve on their own.) Stir to melt the anchovies into the shallots, about 2 minutes.
Add tomato paste and season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring constantly to prevent any scorching, until the tomato paste has started to cook in the oil a bit, caramelizing at the edges and going from bright red to a deeper brick red color, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat and transfer about half the mixture to a resealable container, leaving the rest behind. (These are your leftovers to be used elsewhere: in another batch of pasta or smeared onto roasted vegetables, spooned over fried eggs or spread underneath crispy chicken thighs.)
To serve, cook pasta according to package instructions in a large pot of salted boiling water until very al dente (perhaps more al dente than usual). Transfer to Dutch oven with remaining shallot mixture (or a skillet if you are using the leftover portion) and 1 cup pasta water. Cook over medium-high heat, swirling the skillet to coat each piece of pasta, using a wooden spoon or spatula to scrape up any bits on the bottom, until pasta is thick and sauce has reduced and is sticky, but not saucy, 3 to 5 minutes.
In a small bowl, combine parsley and finely chopped garlic clove, and season with flaky salt and pepper. Divide pasta among bowls, or transfer to one large serving bowl, and top with parsley mixture and a bit more red-pepper flakes, if you like.
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