thoughts on 28.

Today I turn 28.  I’m no longer a particular fan of my birthday (minus the part where I get to eat birthday cake for breakfast, I like that part), mostly because over the past couple of years I find myself particularly reflective in the days leading up to June 9^th.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten harder on myself (please don’t tell me I’m the only one).  I begin to question decisions I’ve made and wonder what I could have done differently.  I get disappointed in myself when I realize an entire year has passed and my life has remained somewhat status quo.   I’ve become hyper-aware of everything and it’s become exhausting.   

I’m trying to force myself to see my birthday as just another day – a day of cake and presents (because I can also get behind the present part) and not as a day where I feel the need to reevaluate my entire life. I sometimes (because of my impatient nature) convince myself I need to have it all figured out now but I have (hopefully) decades in front of me, 60 plus more birthdays, and a lifetime to try and figure things out.  Change will ebb and flow and that's kind of just how life goes.  

So today I am eating cake for breakfast, spending the afternoon outside in Brooklyn, and eating dinner at a restaurant whose entire menu I am contemplating ordering.  Today is my birthday but it's also a really sunny beautiful day in New York that I get enjoy with a really great guy and I'm happy about that.  

Oh and this cake is the chocolate chip cake from Momofuku Milk Bar.  It is hands down my absolute favorite since there is passionfruit involved and you can't go wrong with passionfruit and chocolate.