Yesterday I left work early to meet Tyler so we could vote together. For the past 10 months, our evening walks to the dog park with Jackson was an opportunity for us to discuss current events and most notably this election. Voting together felt like a culmination of those conversations. I was euphoric about voting for the first woman president. I was even more excited to have my husband doing the same. That he felt confident in her abilities, her tenacity, and her knowledge to lead the country made me proud.
And just like that, my feelings of euphoria faded. I am currently experiencing a profound sense of sadness that I didn't think was possible. Walking to work this morning, all of Manhattan felt like it was marching towards a funeral.
Much like Brexit, it feels as if most of this country didn't understand that their actions - electing an arrogant, self-righteous, sexist, racist, pig would result in the financial markets tanking, the world questioning our status as superpower would happen. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would happen. It appears I am blind to the feelings of 50 million people because I think America is great. Flawed at times (but what isn't) but at the end of the day it's great and I am proud to be an American. It's a country that is ripe with opportunity if you are willing to work hard. It's a country built on immigrants and hope.
To think that the endorsement of almost every newspaper in this country, that winning three debates, to actually having experience in politics, and TO WINNING THE POPULAR VOTE would not make you the victor is utterly shocking. I had to graduate college, have internship experience in finance, and pass a test to get my entry level finance job. Here we have someone with credentials that include running a company that has lost millions of dollars and hosting a TV show as the new leader of our world. I'm heartbroken we got here.
The thing that continues to leave me feeling as if I need to run to the bathroom to throw-up is wondering what the next four years will look like. We've made great strides in clean energy, monitoring carbon emissions and now we have a president who wants to get rid of the EPA. We've made progress in LGBT rights, women's rights, gun laws, immigration, among so many other things and all of these things are in jeopardy. It's possible Trump will piss off our allies. That we will become an fragmented, insular, and broken country. It leads me feeling scared in a way I never though possible. This feels bigger then 9/11.
My hope is that my worst fears will not be realized. That because we are a government built on checks and balances that the scariest parts of Trump's campaign will never be realized. I'm going to continue to wallow through the end of today and tomorrow will be a new day. This may not be the outcome I believed we would see but it's not the end. I will continue to fight for a country of progress and inclusion because love trumps hate.
I told Tyler earlier today that instead of Christmas gifts, that we should donate to different organizations that are endanger due to a Trump presidency (I'm looking at you Planned Parenthood, EarthJustice, and Next Gen Climate Action). We will continue to do our part to move America forward.
The glass ceiling will be shattered. #imstillwithher